The other day a friend wrote on Facebook “I can’t fake happiness right now.” And part of my reply was “Sometimes life just sucks and trying to put a positive gloss on it is like putting lipstick on a pig!
With the celebrity suicides in the news this week all the reports end with PSA’s – “if you are feeling depressed or suicidal, please call….”
Friends and family comments in the aftermath of suicides usually run along the lines of: ‘We had no idea they felt that way’ ‘I knew something was bothering them but I didn’t think it was so bad’ “I asked what was wrong but they wouldn’t really open up, so I just dropped it’
Yup, depressed people, suicidal people – they don’t talk about it. Why? Because if you talk about being sad, or depressed or just tired of trying to make life work for you, you get told ‘Stop being so dramatic’, ‘Pull yourself together’, ‘It’s not so bad’, ‘Try to find the bright side of things’ ‘If you want to be happy then act happy’ and ‘Fake it till you make it’
I’m calling ‘bullshit’ on all you happy-happy people.
Your life is grand? Swell. Your life has its up and downs, nothing major, you can deal pretty easily with it? Swell.
There are other folks who lives aren’t grand; whose up and downs don’t have an easy solution, or any solution for that matter. A situation that wouldn’t register as so bad for you can be devastating for someone else.
I know, I’ve been there, I’ve done that.
So many times I’ve been able to find the upside to the downside, and I’ve written about it. But the times when I couldn’t find the upside, and wrote about it, I got the ‘Stop being a wuss’ ‘Stop whining, be happy’ ‘Oh poor you other people have it worse’ ‘Count your blessings’ – Yadda, Yadda, Yadda.
And then there were those pre-blogging times, when talking to face-to-face got me the exact same response. One time I was told that MY life was not about ME. Obviously I was talking to the wrong people. There was never anyone I trusted to actually listen.
And so there were the times when the medicine cabinet and all the little bottles of pills were my only friends, the only ones who offered a solution.
Obviously that solution didn’t work. I’m still here.
So, I’m asking you, begging you – Stop throwing that ‘happy-happy’ crap around. If it works for you, fine. But be damn sure that the person you’re throwing it at is able to catch it.
Stop telling people to put lipstick on a pig!