I’m rattled

and unsettled. The first email I read this morning was from an internet friend. The email was letting me know that she wouldn’t be around on-line due to the sudden death of her husband. I got chills when I read it. These are not elderly people, and while she does not share all that much about her private life, and her husband had some health problems about 6 months ago, they were seemingly resolved.

I have no idea what the cause of death was but I cannot fathom, cannot imagine what she experienced coming home and finding him deceased. I simply cannot. Devastated – Shocked – What are the words to describe such a thing?

I’ve already mailed a formal condolence card as well as a personal card. Words are so inadequate, and words are all I have to offer her. This also rattles me.

We talk about friends and family – and mine are all right here on the internet. I cannot reach out and physically be there for them when they might need me, as I want to be. Nor can they be here for me should I need them.

We spend years building relationships, truly caring from our heart of hearts but when we are really needed, or wanted, all we have to share and give, are words.

 

10 thoughts on “I’m rattled

  1. Oh my! I’m sorry to hear this. When something happens to our internet friends it’s just as if it happened to our own family. Sending my thoughts and prayers.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Internet “friends” can be a difficult situation. Years ago I communicated multiple times daily with someone who was in our circle of owners of diabetic pets. I had a large educational website and she was taking it over from me. We talked about other life events too (like them trying to evacuate from Houston during hurricane Rita). Then one day…..crickets…..total lack of communication. Rumor has it she died of kidney cancer. I searched obituaries, local news from her small home town, I never found anything. It was very disconcerting. Hopefully your friend will take comfort in your words, at least you have that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Much like RL friends, internet friends don’t always confide their most personal concerns. We can be very private people living a somewhat public life.

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  3. I find our friend in my thoughts constantly since I read the news. I pray a lot for her. I know that isn’t the “right” thing to say these days…but it is what I am doing. It is rough going from here to figure out a new life, expenses, navigating family and friends and situations. I hate that she is going through this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If it helps you to do it and say it, then – Having been on the receiving end of people praying for me, I can say it made me smile and go “Aww, isn’t that nice”. The practicalities are tough to get through, that’s why they invented lawyers, tho I don’t know how complicated their lives were.

      I am constantly telling George that he cannot die before me because there is no way that I want to deal with the paperwork! (Or his family.) We have wills, POA’s, Living Wills – the whole 9 yards but a lot of our stuff is tied to the federal government (including our health insurance) and I don’t even wanna know what kind hoops I will have to jump through with that crap. Ever practical me.

      I’ve been running through my head if there are any practical things I could do for her – and from this distance I can’t think of any. It’s not like she’s just down the road and I could cook, or walk the dog, or clean the house or rake the yard…That’s what kills me – I can’t do anything!

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  4. The value of words…. don’t underestimate them. Sometimes the written word is the only thing that has brought me comfort…. read & re-read over again, in the middle of the night, when times seem to be hardest. I feel so badly for Ann too. But she’ll make it. She’s strong.

    Just discovered your blog, Grace, and I like what I see so far. Thank you for writing.

    Most sincerely, Andrea

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Andrea. Words mean a lot to me too. Yes, Ann is strong, one of the things about her that most anyone can pick up on easily. But it’s not always easy to be strong!

      (This is a continuation, I suppose you could say, of my old blogger blog Dragon’s Alley) – I just moved over to WordPress…)

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