and therefore the most dreaded day of my week. I HATE grocery shopping. I HATE cooking. I HATE eating. And not to put too fine a point on it, I HATE everything and anything domestic. (Domestic meaning = relating to the running of a home or to family relations. ‘domestic chores’. Synonyms: family, home, household.)
So, yeah. I spent two days this weekend cleaning the apartment with a toothbrush. Hated every minute, I’m still recovering from the effort but I guess I like ‘clean’ more than I hate cleaning.
This morning sitting at the table trying to write up a grocery list I was near tears. I don’t want to do this! Think of foods to buy, cook it, eat it, clean up afterwards. I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS.
Whenever I lived alone, I was super slim because I didn’t eat much. I had breakfast, egg sandwich bought from a deli on my way to work; lunch was whatever, dinner was – pretty much nothing – certainly nothing I cooked. My refrigerator contained milk for my coffee and – occasionally eggs, a stick of butter, some fruit. Grocery shopping was cat food, toilet paper and such. Food? Not so much.
(There was the period of time when I had no food in the house because I was too poor to buy food – of any kind. When the choice was to pay the rent or buy food, I chose to pay the rent.)
At various times of my life I lived with a man, and there was that whole cook/eat dinner thing. Which meant that I put on weight because domesticity does that for you. All that eating and sitting around. I HATE eating, and sitting around.
The odd thing is – I am actually quite a good cook, even an inventive cook. I have never served anyone a bad meal. And I have hated every single minute of it!
So here it is – 1pm. I guess you could call it lunch time. I’m not particularly hungry, maybe I’ll have a cup of coffee, maybe some grapes, while I do the crossword puzzle. Come 6:30pm, it will be time to make dinner – I’m dreading it already.
You’ve heard the expression ‘crying in their beer’? Well, if you want me, you’ll find me crying in my coffee – quite literally.