“Things you many not know about me” she said facetiously.

1. I’m a bit of a control freak. It’s not that my way is the only right way but it’s what works for me and in close quarters I want it done my way. Out in the great big wide world, do it whatever the hell way you want, if it doesn’t impact me immediately or directly then I don’t care. Knock yourself out.

2. I’d rather do it myself. Now that seems part of #1 doesn’t it? And to a degree it is. If what I am doing, want, or need done, is dependent on someone else doing their bit first – whoa, so NOT comfortable with that because that means I have to trust that this other someone (or someones) are actually going to do what they are supposed to, when they are supposed to, and do it right. Yeah, no. How often does that actually happen? I’d rather do it myself – all of it, whenever possible. And when it isn’t possible? I will micromanage to within an inch of everyone’s sanity.

3. Continuing on with this theme: I trust no one. And nothing. Everything and everyone will fail you. And you will fail others. It’s the nature of the beast. Don’t take it too personally, unless it was done deliberately and purposefully and with malice aforethought. And always plan accordingly.

4. I hate compromise. It’s the hardest lesson I have ever had to learn. And I don’t like that I had to learn it.

5. Contrary to popular belief, I do not make snap decisions. What others see as a snap decision has often been years (years!) in the making. But once decided, then I want it done and over with NOW.

6. I change my mind. Often. Usually after careful consideration and much research. Why oh why must people say “But you once said…” Yeah, and now I have changed my mind. I’m not the one who perceives me as infallible or inflexible, that’s on other people. I know what I know and if you prove me wrong, or offer me a realistic and reasonable alternative – I’ll take it. And sometimes, you know, I just change my mind. Pfft!

7. I’m the first one to say “I’m wrong” “I made a mistake” “I’m sorry” but only if those things are true. And hoo-boy, have they been true more times than I care to count.

8. And when I’m right, I’m right, and nothing and no one can shake me. Or move me. Or change my mind.

9. I can hold a grudge longer and harder and tighter than a bulldog with a bone.

10. Oddly enough that was how my father once described me, as a bulldog, but in relation to what he saw as my persistence – if I wanted something badly enough I got it, eventually, one way or the other, come hell or high water.

11. I do care what people think of me, even tho I say I don’t. When I was young it often (too often) impacted what I did, said or how I acted. Now – not so much. Now I edit what I say or do, not for the fact that someone might not think well of me but rather, do I really need to get up someone’s nose about something of little or no importance. And most things I encounter in my life are of little or no importance.

12. I will never be comfortable with people being nice to me, or saying nice things about me. I do think I am a fairly decent person but I am just not comfortable with other people saying so.

13. When I say I love ya to pieces, I really, really do because I love to love. But that does not mean you can hug me. Please do not hug me. Your need to hug does not supersede my need to not be hugged. Please be respectful of people’s feelings.

14. I did not allow myself to cry until I was in my mid-30’s. Now I cry all the time – when I’m happy, sad, see someone else cry, and most embarrassingly, when I am angry. I cry a lot. It is a good thing.

15. I forget nothing and I forgive nothing. The only thing one person can forgive another person is a monetary debt. We are each responsible for our own souls.

16. The best and most important lesson I ever learned? To say “NO” and to walk away and never look back.

I started out with the idea of this being amusing, it turned serious. So be it.

4 thoughts on ““Things you many not know about me” she said facetiously.

  1. I love learning more about you and always, I’m so impressed with how well you know yourself. I’m in the beginning stages of getting to know the real me and I have a long way to go before I can define how I really am. You are amazing and fascinating and I love when you give us glimpses into your authentic self!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. When you spend your whole life feeling like the square ped that everyone is trying to shove in a round hole, you get to start wondering why and who’s right and who’s wrong. Maybe there is no right or wrong, just who you. The why is what’s interesting and that I don’t have an answer for.

      Like

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