Totally not in the mood to write

which is not to say I’m not ticked off about a variety stuff.  Some of which has served as a reminder to myself to mind my own business. And going forward, the only unsolicited advice I will ever give to anyone is: you know yourself better than anyone else does, do what’s best for you.

And that said, what’s the best and/or most useful advice you’ve ever been given?

 

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  1. BeadedTail

    Hope all is okay! The best advice I ever got was just in this past year and it’s to stay in your own lane. Don’t judge or worry about anyone else or what they’re doing. In my case, don’t compare yourself to anyone else which I used to do a lot. Just be yourself. This advice has been a huge change for me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Grace

      You know of all the negative crap the mother smothered me in that was one that never registered. The mother was always saying “Why can’t you be more like ____?” and I don’t remember ever reacting to that one way or the other. I never internalized that one.

      I compare myself to others all the time but not in a negative way. More like an appreciation of what others do well that I can’t. Like all the crafty creative people – I think and say – Wow, that’s terrific. I can’t do that (and often, “I have no interest in that but good on you.) And there are the people who are even more fucked up than I am, and I think “Whoa, glad I’m not them”

      So, yeah, there are people better looking, smarter, richer etc than me, but so what, that’s to be expected, no? And then there is the stuff that I am better at than maybe those exact same people, so what? The only person I have ever competed with is myself. The only measure of myself I have, or use, is my own values and expectations. Obviously I think that is a good thing ’cause I’m happy with it LOL

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      • BeadedTail

        I was one of the fucked up ones who felt that I didn’t deserve to be happy so I compared myself to people and ended up putting myself down further. Like I don’t look like her so I don’t deserve to do ______ (whatever). So now I stay in my own lane and I don’t compare myself nor do I care what others are doing including my screwed up neighbor. I used to try to figure her out but never could. Releasing all that crap involving everyone else has been empowering for me and now I’m not quite so fucked up. LOL

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        • Grace

          There is still a part of me that thinks I don’t deserve nice things or to be happy but that’s rooted in being told I was a useless, worthless pile of shit. I can understand how comparing oneself to others could negatively impact one’s self-confidence. I’ve always been a weird combination of thinking I was all that and a bag of chips at the same time thinking I was a total waste of space and time. Lordy, but human beings are complicated.

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  2. Summer

    You know that corny phrase, “Be the change you want to see in the world”? My human actually tries to live by that! That’s why we do therapy cat work – my human thought there should be therapy cats, not just therapy dogs… so she hunted around and wound up with me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Grace

      I love the idea of therapy cats – much as I love dogs, I know that were I in a hospital or nursing home, I would love to have a visit from a cat. “Be the change you want to see in the world” is a tall order and in this particular case your human did it so well.

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  3. river

    “think before you speak” which often resulted in me being quiet for days at a time and “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” which pretty much had the same effect.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Grace

      Hmm – Sharla made the same point. That would be one the one thing that was never on my radar. Which I find interesting. Of course people probably do that all the time and it has a negative impact on their lives. I just don’t have any experience with it. Food for thought.

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  4. Jean | DelightfulRepast.com

    Grace, what a great question! One great piece of advice that comes to mind is, Don’t try to help someone who doesn’t want help. Which I also take to mean, Don’t give advice unless asked for it. My parents were people who were ever ready to help others but never butted in or interfered.

    Liked by 1 person

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