I haven’t slept much the last three nights, my brain will not shut off, anxiety rules my days and nights. But today I finally got everything finalized. Junk haulers have been scheduled; appliances have been ordered and paid for; my service elevator worries have been allayed and we’ve started moving things to the storage room and out of the kitchen.
I washed glasses today and stashed them in the linen closet. They’ve been in the kitchen cabinets for 6 years, unused. I’d already thrown out a bunch – keeping only 4 of one kind of wine glass; 4 of another kind of wine glass, which actually came from my Uncle’s bar and you don’t want to know how old they are, 2 small brandy snifters and 4 drinking glasses. When all is said and done, they will go back in the kitchen cabinets and will remain unused. I have no need for wine glasses/brandy snifters – we don’t drink and we don’t have company. Even the plain old drinking glasses don’t get used because – we don’t have company, my husband drinks his coke from the can and I drink water straight from the re-usable glass bottles. I don’t drink anything other than water, coffee and tea.
The last time I probably used any of the wine glasses had to easily been over 10 years ago. Since 2008, when we moved to Philadelphia, we have lived in near total isolation. Aside from shopkeepers and repair people, we saw/spoke/interacted with no one. My husband did used to commute to Washington, DC at least twice a month for work; and for the first 6 months or so I tried to get involved in stuff, joined a gym, took adult ed classes, volunteered at the Senior Center – but once Winter came in and I couldn’t navigate the the streets or transportation options, I hunkered down and never left the house.
We moved here, to Arlington County, in 2012, we used to live in Alexandria and I was very happy there. I had friends, a job, there was always something to do in Old Town. But we couldn’t afford to buy anything there (when we lived there before we rented) and it is a good half hour drive from Old Town to here and my friends tired of doing that drive rather quickly, and I don’t blame them in the least. It’s a one hour bus ride from where I live now to where I used to live – a little long for just a casual jaunt around town. And even after we bought a car, well my husband hates to drive so while he would have driven me anywhere I wanted to go, at least that’s what he always said, I know he would have hated to.
My husband wondered why I kept any of the glasses – and I guess I’m keeping them for sentimental reasons – a reminder of the time when I actually had a life.