“Things you many not know about me” she said facetiously.

1. I’m a bit of a control freak. It’s not that my way is the only right way but it’s what works for me and in close quarters I want it done my way. Out in the great big wide world, do it whatever the hell way you want, if it doesn’t impact me immediately or directly then I don’t care. Knock yourself out.

2. I’d rather do it myself. Now that seems part of #1 doesn’t it? And to a degree it is. If what I am doing, want, or need done, is dependent on someone else doing their bit first – whoa, so NOT comfortable with that because that means I have to trust that this other someone (or someones) are actually going to do what they are supposed to, when they are supposed to, and do it right. Yeah, no. How often does that actually happen? I’d rather do it myself – all of it, whenever possible. And when it isn’t possible? I will micromanage to within an inch of everyone’s sanity.

3. Continuing on with this theme: I trust no one. And nothing. Everything and everyone will fail you. And you will fail others. It’s the nature of the beast. Don’t take it too personally, unless it was done deliberately and purposefully and with malice aforethought. And always plan accordingly.

4. I hate compromise. It’s the hardest lesson I have ever had to learn. And I don’t like that I had to learn it.

5. Contrary to popular belief, I do not make snap decisions. What others see as a snap decision has often been years (years!) in the making. But once decided, then I want it done and over with NOW.

6. I change my mind. Often. Usually after careful consideration and much research. Why oh why must people say “But you once said…” Yeah, and now I have changed my mind. I’m not the one who perceives me as infallible or inflexible, that’s on other people. I know what I know and if you prove me wrong, or offer me a realistic and reasonable alternative – I’ll take it. And sometimes, you know, I just change my mind. Pfft!

7. I’m the first one to say “I’m wrong” “I made a mistake” “I’m sorry” but only if those things are true. And hoo-boy, have they been true more times than I care to count.

8. And when I’m right, I’m right, and nothing and no one can shake me. Or move me. Or change my mind.

9. I can hold a grudge longer and harder and tighter than a bulldog with a bone.

10. Oddly enough that was how my father once described me, as a bulldog, but in relation to what he saw as my persistence – if I wanted something badly enough I got it, eventually, one way or the other, come hell or high water.

11. I do care what people think of me, even tho I say I don’t. When I was young it often (too often) impacted what I did, said or how I acted. Now – not so much. Now I edit what I say or do, not for the fact that someone might not think well of me but rather, do I really need to get up someone’s nose about something of little or no importance. And most things I encounter in my life are of little or no importance.

12. I will never be comfortable with people being nice to me, or saying nice things about me. I do think I am a fairly decent person but I am just not comfortable with other people saying so.

13. When I say I love ya to pieces, I really, really do because I love to love. But that does not mean you can hug me. Please do not hug me. Your need to hug does not supersede my need to not be hugged. Please be respectful of people’s feelings.

14. I did not allow myself to cry until I was in my mid-30’s. Now I cry all the time – when I’m happy, sad, see someone else cry, and most embarrassingly, when I am angry. I cry a lot. It is a good thing.

15. I forget nothing and I forgive nothing. The only thing one person can forgive another person is a monetary debt. We are each responsible for our own souls.

16. The best and most important lesson I ever learned? To say “NO” and to walk away and never look back.

I started out with the idea of this being amusing, it turned serious. So be it.

Kitty Pics (Yay!)

Miss Frankie Lulu was in such a mood this morning – all over the place and all over me, or rather anywhere I was…Something caught her attention outside.

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I love her ize…

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Because she is getting to be an old lady and her jumping skills have deteriorated a bit, I not only got her steps so she could get into the bed but I bought her this little step stool to get up on the couch. She doesn’t really use it for that but sometimes she just hops up on it and poses…

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And then – Miss Frankie loves her baths, she is the cleanest cat ever. It’s almost mesmerizing watching a cat have a bath but then if you slow it down, wow, really cool. This little video clip will take you from normal to slow back to normal – kinda fun…

 

 

Let’s Start with the Light and Fluffy

Since we got rid of the car going to the library would be an arduous journey (or an expensive cab ride) so we are e-books only now. When it comes to borrowing an e-book, if it is not immediately available you can put it on ‘Hold” and wait your turn.  I’ve been anywhere from #3 to #75 (or higher) on the hold list. Often when I get the notice that the book has been automatically checked out to me it has been so long that I’ve forgotten why I even wanted it. These books fall into that category, starting with the light and fluffy:

“My Oxford Year” by Julia Whelan. It hadn’t taken many pages before I was thinking to myself “This reads like a rom-com movie”. After finishing the book I discovered that the book is a novelization of a screenplay. So there’s a turn of events, screenplay first, novel second. When, and if, the movie gets made I’ll skip it, having read the book. Why? Well I already have it set in my mind what the characters look and sound like so whoever they cast won’t match up and however good the movie might turn out to be I will be totally distracted and unengaged.

If you prefer movies to books, then wait for the movie. Despite this being a rom-com book, which I usually avoid, it is a good read. To quote the Kirkus Review “Whelan has created a beautiful, romantic story that focuses on big ideas—love, death, poetry, and what really matters in the end.” I was particularly taken with the poetry angle and the book sent me right to my copy of poems by William Butler Yeats and has me re-thinking Tennyson and Christina Rossetti.

Now on to the dark and dreary but un-put-down-able. Even tho these two books stressed me out and I had to stop reading periodically and take a breather, there was no way I was going to not finish them.

“The Perfect Nanny” by Leila Silimani. This was translated from the French and there was only one instance that registered as awkward for me. So – points for the writing (and translation.) The book opens with the end, so to speak. You know where this is all going and yet you follow along and somewhere in the back of your mind eerie, horror movie music is playing. It pulled me along, and in, and I got all stressed and nervy. I would close the book for a day or two before picking it up again, I had to finish it. I should tell you this is a ‘people’ book not so much a plot book.

And now for the last one – Hoo-Boy is this a doozy. This one had me on the edge of my seat, tense, anxious, slamming the book shut because I couldn’t take any more, lots of deep breaths before going back in.

“Sometimes I Lie” by Alice Feeney. Described as a psychological thriller, yup, because it sure messed with my psychological. And then, two-thirds into the book, a plot twist right out of nowhere that will rock you back and have you re-thinking everything you have read so far. And the ending will leave you hanging and wondering. Is it worth the read? Definitely. I might even read it again because knowing the ‘twist’ will put a whole new perspective on the story.

As per my usual book posts, the title of the book is a link to a professional review. I don’t know how to do book reviews, wouldn’t even know where to start, so I leave it to the ones who do. All I’m passing on is my reaction to the books. Take that as you will.

Miscellaneous Mishegoss #Whatever

terrifiedwilddreamer.256.9134It appears that the word of the day is feckless (lacking initiative or strength of character; irresponsible). Two completely unrelated articles in the ‘Outlook’ section of the Sunday Washington Post contained that word. Do you ever notice such, for lack of a better word, patterns?

terrifiedwilddreamer.256.9134I’ve been whinging and whining about clearing out items I don’t use ahead of the kitchen reno. Everyone had input as to how I could dispose of these things, most suggestions not viable – no, I cannot leave boxes of goods anywhere in my apartment complex. We do have, tucked away, out of sight, under a counter, a bookcase where folks can leave/take books and magazines. This is an authorized drop off spot and even that gets cleaned out periodically by the maintenance staff and the items get dumped. Therefore – all the glass items were bagged and put in the trash room in the glass recycling bin. The ceramic items, not qualifying as glass, were summarily thrown down the trash chute.

But here is a fun thing – we were taking a small, beat-up table down to the garage, where there is a dumpster for larger items, and a couple got on the service elevator, on their way to the garage and the wife said “Ooh, does that table open?” We said, indeed it does and showed her. She got that glint in her eye, her husband said “No!”. We said “If you want it, it’s yours, we’re on our way to dump it.” So you know what happened to that table, right? LOL What this building needs is a monthly or bi-monthly “yard’ sale event. Or jumble sale/exchange. Yes, yes I could suggest it but like everything else I’ve suggested it will get poo-pooed. This is a solid middle class condo in a solid middle class neighborhood, there is nothing high-end and exclusive about it, and yet – they act as if they are living in Buckingham Palace or something. I appreciate the security elements but geeze, if I posted an item on Craig’s List and a few people came by, management would be all over my ass in the blink of an eye.

terrifiedwilddreamer.256.9134One of the glass items I dumped was a heavy, clear glass cat tchotchke that had a little red fish in it’s ‘stomach’. Someone gave it to me as a gift because, you know, I have cats and therefore I’d just adore any and all ‘cat’ things – aka – cat crap, and not the litter box kind. One of the great things about moving as much as we have is that missing items can always be blamed on the movers. ‘Oh those little cat figurines you gave me? They broke when we moved.” Yeah, I’m a bad person.

I grant you that I have given folks ‘themed’ gifts. I hope I’ve not overdone it. But the only theme folks associate me with is cats. And in the old days – witches. No one seems to know me well enough to know I hate all that thoughtless crap. And it is thoughtless because if you know me then you know I don’t collect ‘stuff’, and I hate cat crap, and witch crap, and dragon crap – tho no one has picked up on that one yet. Or angel crap, again no one ever picked up on that.

Okay – revelation here. Sharla and Lin have birthdays coming up this month, I was planning on making them cards, no gifts this year because I just haven’t come across anything appropriate, I was going to make ‘themed’ cards – cats and turtles. Not gonna do it now. I’m going to try and be more thoughtful and creative. Wish me luck with this one!

terrifiedwilddreamer.256.9134Kitchen reno is at a standstill until I can find a countertop color I like. I had picked out a backsplash and it turns out that getting a complimentary countertop is not a happening thing. So now I have changed out the backsplash, which was easy to do because it comes in several colors, and I wait while the granite supplier buzzes around trying to find something I can live with.

And BTW – Ann, because of you I went over my backsplash budget.

 

That’s Entertainment

Eliminating cable television and cable landline telephone service, keeping only high speed internet, will save me approximately $65.00 per month. We pay for a boatload of streaming services plus an annual PBS membership fee (which entitles us to stream anything PBS is showing any time).  We went from Hulu Plus to Hulu Live so that upped our fee from $11.99 to $39.99. We also have Britbox, Acorn, Netflix and Amazon Prime  Video (as part of my Amazon Prime membership which covers just about everything Amazon.) So that’s six different ways to access entertainment.

All of that and nothing to watch. The only reason we have Hulu Live is so my husband can watch the news. What can I say, he likes his half-hour of local news and his half-hour of world news.  Any network shows he watches were available on Hulu Plus and he will spend an hour or two in the afternoon watching them – me, never.  I have no interest in ‘America’s Got Talent’ (one of my husband’s favs) or ‘Chopped’ or any of the Netflix stand-up comedy shows that he favors.

In the evening we watch tv for approximately 2.5 hours.  The only reason I do is because my husband likes me to keep him company. Oy! We are retired, he works part-time from home, we are together pretty much 24/7 – why do I need to keep him company? And yet I do.

Currently we are watching – for the fourth time – the television series “Saving Grace”. Yes, it’s a cop show but so much more. So much more. It’s not the cop/crime part that is important, or even the focal point, but the people and the character of those people, and the big questions that are asked. Honestly, it is not always an easy show to watch, it can be intense but I think it is so worth your time. You can stream it on Hulu.

Another show I would love to be able to watch again is “Homicide: Life on the Streets”.  Again, cop show, police procedural but so much more. The plots mostly are there to serve the characters – the character of the characters.  It doesn’t matter who done it, what matters is how it affected the people, the characters. And again, big questions are asked, debated, experienced, played out, some answered, some left hanging because such is life.

Because these two shows concern themselves with timeless questions they are timeless in themselves and always relevant. While “Homicide..” is not available “Saving Grace” is –  give it a go if you want something a bit thought provoking, and hang on to your emotions because they will be taken for quite a ride!

My life plays out in the funny pages

This – every night at my house – verbatim, right down to the name…wake up george

And you remember this one I posted a month ago, word-for-word conversation that occurs in my home –
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And this one – just the last panel. No joke – it’s been said in my home by me – different situation/set-up but same retort-
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Except for:Stating the Obvious

No one and nothing is 100% anything. Relative to ‘nothing’ I’m going out on a limb there because my knowledge and understanding of physics is very limited.

Chromosomally  females are xx and males are xy, yet females produce testosterone and males produce estrogen. Humans are dichotomous. In everything, in every way. Or so I believe.

I will back away slowly from anyone who says they are 100% in anything. There is always an ‘except for…’ As in – personally I hate folk music, except for – Judy Collins, Donovan and a number of Peter, Paul and Mary tunes. This example can be applied to anything.

Hmm, in this little pondering of absolutes I seem to be using a lot of them.

Politics for instance. Using the criteria sane and intelligent, I would be willing to bet no one is 100% liberal or 100% conservative, and if they insist they are then they don’t meet my original criteria. (Well that’s a little judgey now, isn’t it?)

It took me a long time to realize, acknowledge and celebrate that there is no black and white, only shades of grey. And that being dichotomous is one of the great joys of life. (Defining dichotomous as: “If something’s dichotomous, it’s divided into two distinct parts. It can describe a plant whose leaves pair off in opposing buds or anything — a government, a relationship — that has two divisions that are sharply opposed.”

If, at any time, while reading this you say to yourself “She’s contradicting herself,” then Bingo! – you’ve got it.

I could babble on with no end of examples but instead I will ask you to examine your own contradictions; your own dichotomousness – and take pleasure in them, laugh at them, enjoy them. Who knows, you may even re-think them, testing their validity and truth for you.

Not only should we embrace the diversity of the world in general, but embrace the diversity within ourselves.